and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
