she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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