I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Drake has all the answers
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
