who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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