oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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