Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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