Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
