She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
