Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
