David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize