I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
