So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
