She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
