At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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