Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
