is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
