Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
