I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
