he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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