you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
