Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
