last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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