you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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