let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
