Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
