I don't think brook has ever known best
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
