Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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