Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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