I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
