i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
