IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
