I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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