Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
