I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
