I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
