Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I believe in your delicious
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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