we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
