it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
