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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

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• (619): View more from California

  I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

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• (661): View more from California

  His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.

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• (343): View more from Ontario

  You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.

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