shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
