i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
