3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize