I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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