The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
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