Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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