how can u be prego again
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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