I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
