You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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