Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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