So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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