oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
