Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
