I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
