my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
