Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
