ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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