i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
They have beer where we have blood.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
