What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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