This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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