So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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